Confessions of (Another) Homestudy

In a few days, our new social worker will come to do a follow-up report on the children to send to Ethiopia.  It seems like ten years has gone by since our first homestudy.  

Since this social worker has never met our family, it should be interesting.  We'll have to put our best foot forward.

Maybe on that day, they won't make me change their clothes 10 times in 5 minutes.  

Or maybe it will be like the church picnic last weekend, where I pretended a few of them weren't mine at key moments.

Maybe we can make it through our homeschool day without someone eating our crafts.

Maybe they will stop trying to put 
dresses and headbands on Moses.

Or at least give the kid 
a chance to learn to walk.

Or maybe they will just act how they always do, and the social worker will see what I see. 

I see that my oldest was put together by God with a heart for adoption.  

I could not have taught her what she continues to teach me daily.  
She already knew.

I see a daughter who lost her position as the baby (times two) in one trip to the airport, who gained a sister a lot closer in age than we all thought, and has handled it with adult-sized grace and patience.

I see that God sends someone special to my doorstep to love on me and my children on days when I need it.

I see that God placed certain people in our lives long before we decided to adopt.  People who would make this transition possible and support us unconditionally.

I see God healing the heart of my lost little girl, because I could not have done it, no matter how many books I read about attachment.

I see her smiling because she is happy, and not because she is trying to win someone over.

I see my son, claimed by his father, and carried with pride wherever we go. 

And then there's me.  For the times that I have pretended that the kids streaking the church football field are not mine, I can tell you that most of the time you will find me bragging and making sure that people know that 

"Yes, they are all mine".  

And that walking through a grocery store with these four in tow fills me with so much joy, because children are a gift from the Lord, and I have been blessed, and I am undeserving...  

And when I look in the rearview, I sometimes forget where I have been.  I forget that my road was often filled with fitful rebellion and disbelief, and that He salvaged me and gave me Joy.

We are so thankful for what He has done in our lives and our home.  And we will follow Him on this new road for our lives wherever He leads us.

So once again, 

I am guessing we can skip the cookies.