Aaron's Smile

I love my son Moses' smile.  

  

Whenever I look at him, he's smiling at me - 
or just staring at me like I am the only other person who exists in the whole wide world.  

This kid loves his Mama.  

It was one of the first things I noticed when I walked into his orphanage and bent over the crib he shared with 3 other babies to pick him up for the first time.  

He was the one who was smiling back at me.  

It was one of the first smiles I had seen from him, because in most of the pictures that had been sent to us, he appeared to be confused or startled.

It's the same with Aaron.

  

In a file filled with pictures, he is not smiling in any of them.

However, his expressions look so familiar to me,
and I know exactly why.  

I have seen these expressions before, 
and having Moses and Miriam home for almost two years now, 
I know what they mean.

I know what emptiness and defeat looks like in the eyes of my children.  

It looks like this.

And like this. 

 

 

After we said yes to Aaron, one of the first things we did was order another cake, since Haven's party seemed to have been quite successful in capturing laughter and smiles.  

Aaron will be home before his 3rd birthday in May, so this was not a Birthday Cake.  This cake was sent with a photo album of our family and was intended to celebrate the news of his adoption. 

It was sent to make him smile, and we really tried our hardest not to get our hopes up.  

Because honestly, he could spend the rest of his life pouting and I would love him exactly as much as I do now - which is already unexplainable.  

You see, 
he already hangs my moon.  

Just like Moses did before he came home.  

Nothing has changed between Moses and I in these two years; 
my love for him has been continuous.  

My love for these boys is a God-given kind of love and a true blessing, because it has been complete and full from the moment I opened their files and has remained that way, despite the fact that raising  boys from cradles of hurt is not an easy task.

 

All that being said, I was praying for evidence of hope in Aaron's eyes; 
a sign that there will be laughter in the days ahead...

a sign that we were not too late.  

And once again,
Hope was granted. 

And my heart just melts.

Because our boy knows we are coming for him. 

But I can't imagine waiting one more month 
to hold this beautiful son, let alone 5.  

And yet He is with me in this waiting.  He has proven His faithfulness to me time and time again with the certainty of the His promises, and I trust His plan for my boy.  

We wait in hope of the Lord...  

 

He is our hope and our shield.

And His love endures forever.

May your unfailing Love be with us, Lord.

 

Even as we hope in You.

---
 

We love you, son.
There will be many more cakes.

Psalm 33